Dot Connector

Some of the most important relationships you will develop in your career are with your leaders (i.e. your immediate team leader, popularly called a “boss,” and the other senior leaders of an oganization, i.e. the “higher ups” or “executives”).

All relationships you create are important - certainly, you just never know when you might run into someone again. However, to get things done effectively and constantly grow your career, you have to know how to work with your leaders. For the purposes of the 4 Tips below, I will focus on building rapport with your immediate team leader (i.e. your “boss”).

Building Rapport - Tip #1: Learn What Your Leader is Trying to Accomplish

• You have to put your focus on your leader, not yourself, and ALWAYS start with her goals: What is she trying to accomplish? What are her goals? Why is she the team leader? Why are you on the team (i.e. what’s her vision for you)? Do your goals help or conflict with your leader’s goals? Understanding your leaders’ motivations is the first step to delivering on their expectations.
• Treat your leaders like they are your Clients. Just like when a Client hires a firm to help them achieve a goal, you are that “company of one” for your leader. As Sales Coach and Consultant Brian Macias says, “LISTEN to what your Client says! Remember the old 80/20 rule: they talk 80% of the time and you only talk 20% of the time…the more they talk, the more they like you! Not the other way around.”

Building Rapport - Tip #2: Show Your Leaders They Can Trust You

• Any relationship that works is based on trust. In order to build an effective relationship with your leader, they have to inherently trust you, your motivations, and your ideas.
• To start to build trust, assume rapport - especially with new team leaders. As The Positivity Blog says: “instead of going into a conversation or meeting nervously and thinking “how will this go?” you take different approach. You assume that you and the person(s) will establish a good connection (rapport).” By looking at your interactions this way, you can create a great first impression and develop trust. This is especially critical when you and your leader have different beliefs, lifestyles, etc.
• Then, develop a policy of “I want you to know what I know” with your leader. Ensure that both good and bad news, tips and insights, and observations your leader may not see are all shared quickly (See Tips #3 and #4 below for more on how to do this).

Building Rapport - Tip #3: Constantly bring news ideas to help your leaders brainstorm and solve problems

• Focus on your business goals and the goals of your leader. Whenever you feel that you, your project team, or the company is drifting away from those goals, initiate a discussion with your leader. Don’t just bring issues, but also always bring solutions to the table.
• Take the time to involve your leader in the brainstorming process. Resist the temptation to go off, find the solution, and present it to her. Instead, give your leader the opportunity to be a part of the brainstorming process. Not only will this help you build trust in each other, it will bring you new ideas you might not have thought of otherwise.
• Stay up-to-date on trends, blogs, conferences, etc. that apply to your business’ goals and your leader’s goals. When you find ideas of interest, share them with your leader.

Building Rapport - Tip #4: Adapt to your leaders’ communication style

• Find out how your leader likes to communicate, and follow it religiously. This does take some sacrifice, but isn’t it worth it? Does your leader like to check and respond to emails after 11PM? Maybe she likes to talk on the phone during her drive home? Maybe she prefers updates via voicemail before 8AM?
• Whatever preferences your leader has, match them with your communications. This doesn’t mean you have to be “on email” at 11PM, or “on voicemail” before 8AM, but you should have emails and voicemails waiting for your leader at that time. Most email and voicemail programs also allow you to “schedule” messages. Take that into consideration when determining your communication approach.

Bonus: How to Build Rapport Like Terry Gross

“Fresh Air” - hosted by Terry Gross - is one of the most popular programs on public radio. One of the most prolific interviewers in the media, Gross is known for her entertaining, informative, and provocative conversations with influential people in academia, entertainment, government, and more.

In order to connect her audience to the person she is interviewing, Terry has mastered the techniques of building rapport over 30 years. Her techniques, outlined in “The Art of Connecting: How to Overcome Differences, Build Rapport, and Communicate Effectively with Anyone,” include:

• Putting the focus on the other person (see Tip#1, above)
• Listening (see Tip#1, above)
• Accepting different beliefs, values, lifestyles (see Tip#2, above)
• Staying up-to-date with people, events, trends (see Tip#3, above)
• Respecting individuals (see Tip#4, above)
• Creating an atmosphere for unhurried conversation (see Tip#4, above)

By learning Terry’s time-tested techniques, and applying the 4 Powerful Tips above in your daily interactions, you too can focus on building rapport with your leaders and finding new opportunities to grow.

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